{ we can’t put it back }

November 25, 2010 § Leave a comment

2 months ago

so after meeting with my doctor a month ago and getting every test imaginable i think I retook my SAT’s while I was in there, but today is the day we are deciding what to do. so into the fabulous exam room and my doctor who although excellent has the personality of a wet sock. he is always looking at the file but never really reading it I mean I guess looking at vagina’s all day you learn to keep your eyes down but it really is infuriating. plus he likes to add really long pauses in his sentences so normally it takes about 45 minutes to get one sentence out of the man. “so michelle after reviewing your tests I have decided ummmmm…………………………………………………that we have two choices one that involves you having children and one that doesn’t” i tell him that having children is not a concern and I just want this thing fixed. Upon hearing this another long look at my file I seriously wonder if he has his Kindle in there, I swear if you are reading “The DaVinci Code” i’m going to be pissed. “ok then i recommend a full hysterectomy” alright i say if that’s what we need to do lets do it “but if you do that you know you can’t have kids, ever. you need your uterus to bear children” i suddenly transformed back to health class who doesn’t know you need a uterus to have children. “ok well if that’s your choice I need you to fill out some paperwork”

so i’m waiting in this room and then all of sudden this blonde hair Amazon looking woman comes into my room. She literally is probably 6 foot something the song “Brickhouse” suddenly gets stuck in my head. She is wearing a glittery leopard top with a tight blazer holding on to life with only one button. She looks like she is going to punch me and then take my uterus right here, crap I didn’t know thats how they were done maybe I didn’t pay more attention in health class. “Hello Michelle, how are you doing?” i’m fine who are you? “oh I’m just the counselor who has to asese  your mental state before we give an ok with the hysterectomy. can i ask you some questions?” sure no problem “great you know once you have a hysterectomy you can no longer have children, correct” yes  i understand that “and your fine with this” yes I’m alright with this “ok great, thats all I have” and then walks out the door. What the hell was that? Thats how you tell if someone is mentally ok I mean what kind of training did she have to go through, I wish I had signed up for that as my major.

My doctor came back in with some papers in his hands “ok so I need you to sign these two sheets one is just consent for the upcoming procedure and the second one is saying once we take out your uterus we can’t put it back in” umm excuse me i didn’t hear that last part what is the second sheet for “it’s saying that we can’t reattach your uterus once it’s gone it’s gone we can’t put it back in” i stand there in shock and I couldn’t help but ask “do people actually ask that?” and he sighs and says “if they didn’t we wouldn’t need the sheet”

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