{ the UP side }

December 15, 2010 § 2 Comments

i don’t know if it’s the holidays (or my boyfriend saying “you know you are going to scare the crap out of people”) but i thought i would write this post about the positives of having a hysterectomy & surgical menopause at such a young age (yes there are positives )

all right ladies you are feeling like crap & a hormonal train wreck but you are looking at this all the wrong way. this is a get out of jail free card! how often in life can you scream at your boyfriend and they bring you ice cream? so take advantage of it. you think your man would hesitate a second and not milk it for all it’s worth.ok let me take you back to the last time he was sick remember the drama, the whining, the constant demands ahh… it’s all coming back huh. well now it’s your turn. you have at least 2 solid months of being crazy use it for your benefit. you know that annoying person at work yell at them, steal there cookie out of the fridge and then blame it on the hormones. who’s going to question hormones?

the obvious upside is not having a period but quite frankly you’ll be begging for PMS after dealing with menopause but that does not mean you can’t have some fun. like asking a co-worker who knows you had a hysterectomy for a tampon, they will give you a weird look but won’t question you, it’s hilarious. also add how much you would normally spend on your period and I mean all of it: tampons, midol, heating pad, pads, granny panties (should be free with tampons), chocolate, etc..and use that total to get a nice spa day! another fun thing to do is leave a pregnancy test where your boyfriend can see it and then watch him Google “can you get pregnant after a complete hysterectomy?”

i live in erie, pennsylvania which you may have heard of on the weather channel, yes we are the place that always gets the ungodly amount of snow and the guy is reporting while standing on a snow bank that used to be his car. you can imagine our heating bills this time of year but not this year I have my hot flashes to keep me warm. the other day we were in the middle of a blizzard and i was getting my mail in my short sleeved summer dress. you know how cheap summer clothes are right now? i can replenish my whole wardrobe!

alright ladies we are friends now right? so we can talk like girlfriends. so i’m going to give the men a chance to leave so we talk alone. *insert Micheal Bolton holding music* are we alone? ok, great. all those sights that you read that say one of the side effects of surgical menopause is loss of libido are not true. i think they tell you this just so you think you can get some rest and get some reading done, no luck. i have never been so randy in my life & quite frankly my boyfriend is getting a little scared: I mean he doesn’t know if I’m going to yell at him or jump him (or let’s face it a little bit of  both)

a few quick reasons: i now have a legitimate reason to be crying during hallmark commercials, i have a great excuse not to attend that stupid office holiday party this year, everyone blames my eccentric behavior on the hormones & probably the best thing if for some reason i do go off the deep end and beat my boyfriend up when he eats my leftover chinese food, no jury will convict me!

 

 

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§ 2 Responses to { the UP side }

  • kiki wife of Mr kelly dingle says:

    That was hilarous I found out my date for surgery is Jan.3 happy but anxious cranky crying laughing and exhausted. They put me in memeapause with the lapron shot but apparently “true” menepause is going to be a real treat! lol The only thing good Ive heard is that I’ll probably lose weight and I’ll finally be out of this horrendous pain Im in. Your blog is really helping me laugh which keeps me sane. I live in meadville just below you loving the snow NOT! My anniversary is tomorrow so I have decided no crying spurts or unnessary irratibiality I have the best man in the world and he should have one day of saity with me lol Again thanks for the blog its helping.

  • littletoad1 says:

    well i wish you all the luck in the world and if you have any questions or need someone to relate to just drop a line! as much as i complain there are some great things about this surgery and i really haven’t felt healthier (crazier) but healthier than i have felt in years. have a lovely anniversary & hope to hear from you again and wish you health & happiness

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