{ HO,HO Hysterectomy }

December 22, 2010 § 1 Comment

 

The holidays are upon us and you might be depressed because your surgery has made it difficult or impossible to do some of the holiday preparations and/or events. Let’s face it a hysterectomy for the holidays is nothing we asked Santa for (and I’m convinced the only reason he lives at the North Pole was that Mrs. Clause had severe hot flashes) but that does not mean you can not enjoy the season. Don’t want to go that stupid office party(let’s face it you’ve seen one drunk accountant you’ve seen them all), need a way out of that political correct Christmas pageant? Well now you have the perfect, full proof excuse. No one will question you wanting to stay home(and if they do show them a hormonal woman’s super human strength, believe me they won’t be making that mistake again). So while your family & friends are sitting in agony watching your boss dressed up like a reindeer and children trying to sing “Away in a manager” without referencing “god” you can be home under a blanket eating cookies that were supposed to be for Santa ( he’s still a man so he’s not completely off my shit list) and watching holiday movies (some advice do not watch anything on Hallmark, TLC or any movie with Julia Roberts or Meg Ryan your hormones can not take it).

{ Gift Giving } Alright guys let me save you from yourselves this holiday. I know you are very practical and are thinking to yourselves “I can get her gifts that will help her during her healing” STOP right there!! Read the following for acceptable and more importantly non acceptable gifts for that lovely sweaty lady in your life(Don’t think my boyfriend’s exempt from this either).  GIFTS DO’S: Spa Day-Treat her with a spa gift certificate so she can pamper herself with a day or days of relaxation(a lot of spa’s have special post surgery massages that can optimize the healing process), Bubble Bath & Lotion- (guy’s go to Bath & Body Works and ask a woman for help), Anything Godiva(and yes there is a difference between Godiva & chocolate you get at a gas station), Books & Movies- let’s face it you get tired of watching When Harry Met Sally and since she needs a lot of down time this is a great gift (My picks: Book: Love Walked In by Marisa De los Santos, Movie: Julie & Julia) and finally FOOD-give a voucher for a nice dinner at her favorite restaurant when she is feeling better(sports bars need not apply) GIFTS DON’TS: A heating pad or a hot water bottle, any type of flannel night gown (if you saw your mom or grandma wearing it do not put it under the tree), orthopedic shoes, any medical resources and/or self help books (me & my hysterectomy, my hysterectomy journey, etc),a shawl(we’re hot all the time what the hell are we going to do with a shawl) and finally do not buy give her anything that starts with the following statement ” this really helped my mom when she was going through menopause”(your just asking for a world of pain).

I’d would love to hear from you! What did you think about this post? Share your stories and/or suggestions.

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§ One Response to { HO,HO Hysterectomy }

  • kiki wife of Mr kelly dingle says:

    lol that was funny as hell this xmas is hard in ALOT of pain this year but hey eggnog and jameson works wonders! Thankfully surgery first week in jan. its like my body knows and is racking up the pain. And sooo much cooking to do thankgod my mother in law is here to help.

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