{ Twas’ the night sweat before Christmas }

December 23, 2010 § Leave a comment

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
I got a hot flash no amount of water would douse.
The cold presses were hung on the towel rack with care,
In hopes that relief soon would be there.

My boyfriend & cat were nestled all snug in our bed,
While visions of me smothering him with a pillow danced in my head.
And him in dreamland, and I with a heating pad on my lap,
am rethinking my today’s fourth nap.

When out of nowhere there arouse a clatter,
My boyfriend sprang out of bed to see what was the matter.
Away to my side he made a mad dash,
Tore away the hot quilt to deal with the hot flash.

The heat and the sweat gave me a warm, heated glow
That made me want to stick my head in the snow

When, what to my aching joints should appear,
But surgical menopause my biggest fear.
With symptoms so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it really was as bad as you would think.
More rapid than eagles the symptoms they came,
And I moaned, and shouted, and called them by name!

“Now Headaches! now, Dizziness! now, Night Sweat and Hot Flash!
On, Crying! On, Anger! on, on Fatigue and Memory Lapse!
To the grocery store! to time shopping at the mall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

And then, in a twinkling, I feel quite aloof

As I make a whole bucket of ice disappear in one, POOF!.

As I left the refrigerator and was turning around,

Down I feel on my ass with a great big bound.

I was dressed in my summer clothes from head to foot,

I’m pretty sure my chances of a having a good night’s sleep just went kaput.

So a box of cookies I fling on my back,

And yes I plan to eat the whole pack.

My hormones how they ran, my face red as a cherry.

I’m about to hurt every Tom, Dick and Harry

My spirits are starting to getting low,

The stories are true menopause really does blow.

I have a cold wash cloth around my neck like a wreath,

Menopause has stolen my internal temperature like a dirty, rotten thief.
Because of the surgery I got a round belly,
That shook when I laugh, like a bowlful of jelly!(mmmm..jelly)

I feel chubby and plump and not very stealth.

And I feel like a crazy version of my former self!

A bought of nausea and a pain in my head,

Soon made me realize tonight was going to be full of dread.

My boyfriend speaks not a word and just goes to work,
But still he can’t avoid me calling him a jerk.
At least he doesn’t argue when I want to watch my shows,
And after being up for 15 minutes, I start to doze!

He sprang upstairs to give his mom a ring,
to just double check if he’s doing the right thing.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘while I still was out of sight,
“I fear it’s going to be another hot sleepless night!”


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