{ a journey of a 1,000 miles starts with a single pissed off woman }

December 29, 2010 § Leave a comment

When I made the decision to have a hysterectomy I noticed the word journey started to pop up whenever people talked about what was going to happen. “Just think of this as a brand new journey”, “This is just the start to your journey”, “This could be a great to start to a whole new life journey for you”, ” On your journey through menopause”. When I think of a journey I think of walking through Tuscany in search of a great bowl of pasta or searching a city for great vintage finds and/or bargains. Doesn’t a journey mean the possibility of a hot steamy affair with some foreign guy that doesn’t speak the language (you have to forgive me I have been bed ridden for a month and have watched nothing but romantic comedies, I think it’s taking me away from reality) instead the only thing menopause gives us is us alone  hot and the steamy (and not the fun kind) I can even describe an encounter to the post office during the holidays fighting old ladies for packing materials and stamps as a journey, but I am hard pressed to understand why menopause gets a journey label. I mean menopause is not taking me anywhere (unless you count taking me closer to insanity) and as out of it as I am lately I don’t feel like I’m going anywhere.

How do I pack for my menopausal journey? I can always bring snacks (lets face it a whole pizza & Oreo’s), I won’t need a sweater in case it get’s cold because it never gets cold in menopause land, I probably should bring my hair dryer because you never know if you’ll have access to one, also a little black dress in case menopause wants to take me out (but I bet that bastard expects the woman to pay after it orders the lobster) and my bag of pills (estrogen, Tylenol, Gas-X, anti-diarrheal, multi-vitamin & anti anxiety-shit I don’t think those are going to fit in any overhead compartment so I’m going to have to pay extra to claim that bag, Damn this journey sucks already) I fear this journey is going to go the way many trips do that we really don’t want to take: we are going to get lost at least once along the way, there are going to be warning noises & signs that we shouldn’t be ignoring that undoubtedly will cause problems later and there will be crying & yelling (“I will turn this hysterectomy around, just you watch me mister”) So bring it on menopause I’m ready to go on your stupid journey, I just hope it results in some frequent flier miles.

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You are currently reading { a journey of a 1,000 miles starts with a single pissed off woman } at does this hysterectomy make me look fat?.

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