{ me & the early bird special }

January 7, 2011 § Leave a comment

So as accepting and Zen as I am about being a 29 year old going through menopause (and sexy as hell I might add) there are days where there is no escaping from the feeling of being old, damn old. One such occasion was on my recent quest for soup. You know those days where you wake up hungry and it never really goes away. There is a little hole in the wall cafe’ where I live that has the worlds best stuffed pepper soup, i’m not exaggerating it’s a big bowl of happiness and on a cold day it is perfection. The catch (because let’s face it there’s always a catch) they rarely have this on the menu, so when they do it truly is a cause for celebration. So on this especially cold day I call ahead and no sooner does the word stuffed come out of his mouth my boots are on, I grab my boyfriend who says “I need to change out of my pajama’s” “No time” I yell back and we are out the door. Fast  Forward we have ordered our food and are eagerly awaiting our order. But then an awful feeling comes over me, I look to my right and then to my left and my face drops. “What’s the matter?” my boyfriend asks “Oh my god, I’m old. I’m practically ancient, I might as well be the friggin’ Crypt Keeper” “What the hell are you talking about?” “Are you blind, look around” We literally are surrounded by the entire cast of Cocoon. There are old women all over the place, single and dining alone because they have outlived their husbands( who probably never listened to them when their wives told them to go the doctor or they killed them while they were going through menopause). The couples that are there are old & sharing a bowl of soup and stuffing the crackers in their purse for latter. At last count there were 4 oxygen tanks, 7 canes and 9 pairs of suspenders & old man knee socks. I find myself smack dab (see how old I am I’m used the phrase smack dab) in the middle of the early bird special. “So what” my boyfriend says, clearly he doesn’t understand what is happening. A guy can eat a whole prime rib at 10:00 in the morning and no one says a thing, a woman eats something bigger than a bagel before noon and she’s an old maid, who needs to eat before it gets dark because her cats will wonder where she is.

So am I crazy? of course I am, but that doesn’t mean I can help it. It is the nature of being a menopausal 29 year old, but now if you’ll excuse me I think I will enjoy my soup. “Umm excuse can you warm this soup up, it’s not hot enough” Oh shit I’m becoming one of them.


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You are currently reading { me & the early bird special } at does this hysterectomy make me look fat?.


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