{ what a way to make a living }

January 10, 2011 § 3 Comments

Right now I’m a teacher by day and a designer/illustrator by night . Now before you say “oh how nice what a rewarding field” STOP! I teach at an institution which maybe run by the winged monkeys in The Wizard of Oz. But I love my other job and was back doing my art two days after surgery(totally against doctor’s orders) but the time has finally come where I need to go back to my day job. Now to prepare you for what you will encounter I have assembled this helpful guide of the types of people you will encounter on your way:

  • Nosey Nellie: This person does not actually care how you are feeling but just wants to know everything about it so they can be the first to tell anyone who asks.
  • The One Upper: No matter what has happened to you medically this person can out do it usually starts with “well you think what you went through was bad I had to be quarantined for months with a flesh-eating bacteria, the doctors say I’m lucky to be alive”
  • Grim Reaper: No matter what you have this person will tell you the most horrible story of a person they know who had the same thing & it went horribly wrong. “My sister had a hysterectomy and she was feeling fine and then she went back to work and her fingers fell off, seriously!”
  • Office Idiot: Never has any idea whats going on ever. “You were gone?”
  • The Coal Miner: Have never missed a day of work in their life. “Hey glad to see some people can take time off. I broke all the bones in my leg, literally back to work the next day”
  • Self Esteem Killer: “You look tired”
  • Management: “So you’re feeling better, great, then you can finish all this work that no one did while you were away” while handing you a stack of dusty papers
  • Failed Health Class: “Hysterectomy? Is that like a hernia?”
  • Asshole: “I wish I could have 6 weeks vacation, where I get to lay around and do nothing.”
  • Captain Obvious: “So you had a hysterectomy, huh?”
  • Self-Centered: Just asks how you are doing so you’ll have to ask how they have been. They will literally interrupt you so they can they you all about their problems. “But I’m starting to feel ……….  “You’ll never belive what happened to me while you were gone”
  • Health Nut: Knows better than all the doctors of the world. “You know why this happened to you it’s all the coffee you drink, you need to do a 40 day cleanse like I’m doing right now, nothing but lemon juice and cayenne pepper”

If you are lucky enough to work in an environment where they sent you a get well card and a basket full of goodies and through your recovery you heard “The most important thing is that you get better” and “Take as much time as you need”, then I HATE YOU! Now back to work I go (I’m writing this from an undisclosed office location)

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