{ germ carrier }

February 1, 2011 § 2 Comments

My boyfriend was out of town for a week and upon his return he brought me a present. Was it a new book? No. Was it a pretty new scarf? No. Was it even those little shampoo’s from the hotel? No. So what did my boyfriend just have to bring back with him? Germs and lots of them. He brought me back a friggin’ cold.

Now he claims that it wasn’t him who infected me but since he is saying this while stuffing Kleenex in his pockets I don’t believe him. Thinking he was being funny he said “Maybe it was your other boyfriend that got you sick while I was away,Ha,Ha” (For all the men out there be careful when you are trying to be funny when your lady is going through menopause but really don’t try and be funny when she is menopausal &  sick) Yes thats exactly what I did, as sick as I am I must have had an affair with the monkey from “Outbreak”.

The funny thing about my current state (mind you I am typing this with tissues stuffed up my nose, needless to say I am one pretty sexy lady, even my cat is running in fear of me) is that I didn’t even know I was getting sick. I have been feeling tired and warm for a few days but frankly since my surgery I always feel like I have a temperature & am always about to fall asleep so no warning flags really popped up. Until I woke up with one eye crusted shut and I thought to myself, well this a weird, new menopause symptom.

So I jump onto WebMD trying to type with only one eye, after reading nothing I call my doctor. “Well it sounds like you might just have a bad cold or sinus infection” his nurse tells me “That’s impossible I can’t have menopause and be sick that’s just not fair. It should be against the laws of nature, I mean aren’t I suffering enough?” She just laughs, “Sorry it doesn’t work that way” “Well it damn well should” I think as I hang up the phone.

Great not only am I a menopausal swamp monster but now I am a snot monster as well. So, now I have to add Vitamin C with my Vitamin E, my estrogen with a zinc lozenge and replace my sleep aid-Renew with friggin’ Thera-Flu.

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