{ stupid question saturday }

February 12, 2011 § Leave a comment

The day after your hysterectomy you will get a call from your doctor’s office following up with (basically they are just making sure you are still alive and that you haven’t killed your significant other) If your as lucky as I was you will get the most perkiest woman with a high pitched voice who is way to happy to be at work. But who calls you isn’t really important because you will be so doped up out of your  mind you’ll have no idea who is calling, why they are calling or for that matter where the hell you even are. So my phone call went a little bit like this:

Ring, Ring, Ring Oh crap I hear ringing I must have not shut the faucet off I say to my boyfriend Ring, Ring He answers the phone and then says to me “It’s your doctor’s office they just want to see how you’re feeling after your surgery” I had surgery?, I whispered (yes I had some good drugs)

Helllooooooooo “Yes Hi MIchelle my name is Karen and I just wanted to see how you were feeling  on this beautiful sunshiny day?” Grunt “Well I have to ask you some questions and then I you can get back to working on getting better, alrighty. (I shit you not she said alrighty) Are you in any pain?” Well I was but I’m taking a lot of meds so I really don’t feel a thing ” Ok thats fine for today but what you want to try and do is get off the pain meds as quickly as you can. What I suggest is trying to build up your pain tolerance, make it a game, when you are in pain see how long you can go without taking a pain med.” What kind of fucked up game is that? “Ummmm maybe game wasn’t the right word. Next question, are you eating anything?” No, I feel like I’m going to throw up at the mere mention of food. “That’s very normal but you want to try and eat something & something healthy. If you throw up try again in an hour” (at this point in the conversation I really just want to hang up on her but unlike many of my past love interests I have a feeling that she’ll call back) “Ok, one more question and we’re done, Did you have sex last night or this morning?” and with that I hang up. Ring, Ring. Oh, Dammit.

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