Fuck you recommended reading lists
January 19, 2013 § 2 Comments
Awhile back in an effort to improve myself (why does this statement always led to a dark, disappointing road) I had the idea that I needed more culture in my life. My plan was to read all the books on the “100 books you should read before you die”list. These are the classics, these are the books people talk about at dinner parties (now I don’t go to dinner parties but maybe it’s because I haven’t read these books) My plan was perfect, this is exactly what I need to be the more intelligent, more sophisticated Michelle.
I started off with Wuthering Heights. Seriously I have never read a more depressing book in my life. This is supposed to be a romance but instead the guy verbally abuses his wife while lusting after a friggin’ ghost. However, I was not going to be discouraged so I moved on to the Grapes of Wrath, which I have to confess I could not get past the drought.I was hoping it was about wine(you know like Sideways) Then on to starving & TB in Les’Miserables and pedophilia in Lolita. What the hell? I thought these were supposed to be good, uplifting books. I’m now just depressed and kind of grossed out. Ok, American Psycho that’s on the list. Holy Shit, this book is disgusting and scary as hell. It should have been titled hookers & chainsaws to warn people. Seriously, I still have nightmares about this damn book. At this point I am starting to question my project but me being stubborn I am determined to stick with it.
After going through 40 or more books (that I could not bring myself to finish) I was subjected to a man who made perfume out of his murder victims, women having affairs in Russia, a lot of women who need to earn there place in society by having long walks & lots of talks about hourses, poverty in Brooklyn, poverty in London, poverty in France and a lot of references to Hemingway’s penis. These are what people should be reading? Really? If anything this encouraged me to never want to read (or leave my house for fear of being attacked by a murderous impoverished orphan) So I have happily accepted to be not a “literary intellect” and instead I’m going to grab my copy of Tina Fey’s new book, a glass of wine and enjoy the potential conversations with my cats about this classic.