February 17, 2013 § Leave a comment
I don’t know if it’s being 30 or the fact that I feel like I’ve lost 2 years to being sick but I just feel like I am behind with all the things I want to do in my life. So instead of actually taking action I came up with a much more realistic plan. That’s right, I built a time machine and I am going to interview my two younger selves. I’m going to see what my 20 year old & 8 year old self thinks about where I’m at in life. Perhaps this will give me the much needed perspective.
My 20 year old self.
What are you wearing? “I didn’t really have any idea what to wear, time traveling and all so I thought my PJ’s would be most comfortable.”
So what is our life like, are we famous yet? “Um, not quite. We work at a school and freelance on the side.”
I guess that’s cool. What about our boyfriend is he hot? Is he covered in tattoo’s & has a faux hawk? “Actually he’s a Republican who wears brown loafers and all different kinds of argile.”
“Is he at least in a band? ” He played the trombone in marching band.”
Why are you sweating? “Oh, it’s the hot flashes”
Wait how far in the future are you? “Oh, yeah you should probably know. We are going to go through menopause before 30.” Stunned Silence.
“Let’s change the subject. What are you going to do tonight?” I have no idea. Hopefully some friends will stop by and we’ll probably go out later. It’s way to early to tell.
“It’s almost 7:00pm on a Tuesday and you have school tomorrow. Maybe if you studied more we wouldn’t be working at a crappy job. Sorry, it’s the hormones.”
“Well it’s getting late. But I want to leave you with some advice: Don’t spend all your money on VHS tapes they are going to useless in a few years, don’t bother buying pregnancy tests, your infertile, go nuts, don’t eat anything in a mall food court and wear nice underwear everyday because we are going to get hit by a drunk driver & will be seen by the entire medical staff in our granny panties.”
It was nice meeting you, I guess. Hey, can you buy me alcohol before you leave?
So a case of Mikes Hard Lemonade later, I was on my way to visit my 8 year old self.
” Thanks. What are you doing?” Finger painting!!! I love drawing so much.
“Well in the future that will be part of your job.” Wait, we get to draw all day and get money for it. That’s so cool. “I guess it is cool.”
What’s being grown up like? “It’s pretty much the same, we live a little town with a pretty great guy.” Ewwwww. Boys are gross. “Yeah most of the time. Plus we have two cats.” Kitties!!!
Do you want some of Lip Smackers chap stick? It’s Dr. Pepper flavored. “I think I will thanks.” I would invite you into my blanket fort but it’s almost time for dinner. We are having grilled cheese & dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets.Want some?
“No. You actually become a vegetarian.” Your silly!!
“Anything you want to ask me before I go?” Do we ever get to meet Minnie Mouse? “Yep. We have been to Disney World, Italy, New York City, Maine all over really.”
I get to live by myself with kitties, draw all day and stay up as long as I want.Plus you get to wear your PJ’s when it’s not bed time. I can’t wait to grow up, it’s going to be so cool!!