6 questions about a hysterectomy that you are too embarrassed to ask

January 18, 2013 § 2 Comments

ImageA hysterectomy for most women is a personal & overwhelming life style change. More often than not women find it very embarrassing. Especially young women. Luckily I have no shame so I am going to answer questions that maybe you are too uncomfortable to ask.

1) Will I gain weight?

Yes. I wish this wasn’t true but it is. Ignore all that business about “well if you just eat right” I ate all organic vegetarian food and I still gained 20 pounds. It’s normal, it sucks but it’s normal. The up side: This should NOT be reason to rule this out. It eventually evens out & you will go back to your normal self. Plus in the mean time enjoy it ( I know am I crazy) Take advantage of the fact no one will say anything because you’ve had surgery for god’s sake and really your the only one who will notice-Promise.

2) Will I loose bladder control?

Yes and No. Some women (usually older) will have problems with bladder control, but with younger women you should not have a problem. But I will fill you in on a little known secret, (doctors didn’t not warn me of this possibility) So we are friends so I have no problem telling you my pee story. Two days after my surgery I stood up and just peed, oh yeah no warning just pee. Luckily no one was home (except the cat who found it hilarious) and luckily it only happened once. The up side: You just got to hear a story about me peeing myself what more of an up side do you need?

3) Will I loose interest in sex?

No. In fact you might be a bit more frisky. Without the pain that caused you to get a hysterectomy and without the worry about getting knocked up you will be back to your vixen self in no time. The up side: This is more for your life partner but with this added bonus he won’t care so much when you are a emotional wreck.

4) How bad are hot flashes?

Fuckin horrible.  Don’t let any quack tell you that it’s just a matter of being warm. It feels like you are in a sauna. You will feel like you have a fever and are on fire from the inside. And don’t let the name fool you it’s never a flash. It can last for a minute or and half an hour. Be aware of the night sweats as well they are the worst. The up side: I haven’t had to buy a winter coat for two years and our heat bills in the winter have been drastically lowered.

5) Do I still need to see my gynecologist?

Yes. Don’t be ashamed of this question my mom (who is a nurse asked me this) You still have lady parts so yes you still have to see your gynecologist. The up side: Have fun with it. Tell them you think your pregnant. Trust me it’s hilarious.

6) How bad are the mood swings?

Perhaps I should let Ben to answer this question because he has been on the receiving end of my  ,um shall we say “outbursts”. They are pretty bad I remember crying because I only had one Oreo cookie left (in retrospect this may been my reaction before menopause). The worst was Ben came home and asked me how my day was and I almost killed him with a shoe. Understand that this is normal and they are uncontrollable(despite what any one else tells you) The up side: You now have a perfect excuse to get out of any situation. Start crying people will just walk away.

So do you have a question? Seriously nothing is off limits. I would love to answer it for you. Leave your questions in the comments below.

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{ i think we’re going to need a bigger boat }

January 26, 2011 § 1 Comment

Up until now my estrogen pills have been my life line, constantly keeping me afloat in the crazy menopausal waters, but I fear my it is starting to loose it’s affect. Just like the body can do with any medication it can start to build up a tolerance (at least I hope thats what is happening and it’s not revealing it’s true self, just like menopause to be such a sneaky bastard) My hot flashes have become all day affairs and today I learned that my eyelids can actually sweat. As I write this I’m in my sweaty bra with a bag of frozen tater tots on my head (sorry for the mental picture) and half tempted to outside in the snow bank in front of our apartment. So keep me in your thoughts tomorrow when I have to yet again change my prescription but even more frustrating I have to talk to my doctor who has the personality of an earthworm.

P.S. Also did I mention that my boyfriend is out of town so my dinner consisted of a brownie, half a cup of whipped cream and iced mocha, why don’t I feel guilty because I’m sure I will sweat all the pounds off tonight.

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