March 19, 2011 § 3 Comments
On the day of your surgery you will have to literally talk to everybody in the hospital ( I’m not exaggerating I even got to talk to the Maintenance guy). One after one these people will come in to your room and ask a barrage of questions “Do you smoke?”, “When’s the last time you ate?”, “Name of your high school boyfriend?”, “How many fingers am I holding up?”, “Does your milkshake bring all the boys to the yard?’ at one point I could of sworn H&R Block stopped by to make sure my taxes were in order.
Needless to say it became one big blur except for the hospital pharmacist. He seemed like one of those overally friendly people (who was probably just excited to get to leave his basement office and talk to people) So he asked the normal questions “What medications are you taking?”, “Did you take any this morning?”, “Do you take any vitamins?” , “Ok, I got all I need. ” and then he turns and says this as he walks out the door “Have fun today!” I look to my boyfriend to make sure I heard him correctly and my boyfriend bowed his head and shook it in acknowledgment.
Did they get my chart wrong instead of hysterectomy am I scheduled to go to the carnival or a petting zoo? So not only did I get to meet every hospital employee but I also got to meet the devil himself, quite a day- “Have Fun!”
January 8, 2011 § 1 Comment
I have never really minded needles but ever since my last two surgeries they just put me into panic mode. It’s not so much the needle that bothers me as the people’s aim with the needle that gets me.The minute they start to unwrap the IV pack I turn white and look like I’m going to pass out (but the upside to that is that they will make sure they get the best nurse & they sure as hell won’t miss the damn vein because they don’t want you to faint) So as the nurse was prepping my IV I was happy to hear her say “Oh do you have a problem with needles, we have something that will help you relax, it really helps people with a fear of needles” “What are you waiting for?” she turns to her cart and I hear the rustling of plastic and my soon to be road to relaxation, I have finally outsmarted you needle. She turns around and is holding the biggest needle I have ever seen it literally looks like a needle on The Twilight Zone. “Ok, are you ready” “Ready for what? What the hell is up with the friggin needle” “You said you wanted something to relax” “So your solution to people being scared of needles is injecting them with a much larger needle, what kind of sense is that” “I don’t follow” *insert sigh*