April 14, 2011 § Leave a comment
I don’t know when it happened it must have been happening so gradually that I wasn’t prepared when I came to the realization that Dr. Drew is everywhere. Seriously, test my theory I challenge you to turn on cable TV and find a show that he has not been on. When did he become the go to guy to ask? And he gets asked for his diagnosis about everything: Dr. Drew what is your opinion on Charlie Sheen’s mental condition? Do you think this person is an addict? Dr. Drew what do you think of this weather we are having? I swear I even saw him on the Food Network being asked if he thought the steak had been overcooked.
To be perfectly honest I really didn’t have any opinions of the guy good or bad, I figured we could peacefully share the cable airwaves, I mean I’m an adult I can share the basic cable airwaves with this guy. That was until I caught an episode of his new show. First off I was not seeking any more Dr. Drew but his new show moved into one of my shows time slot and instead of digging around my couch covers for the remote I decided to sit there and listen (yes I am quite aware that my laziness has no bounds, I once watched a whole marathon of Knight Rider because my remotes batteries had died)
The topic of the show was “Latter in Life Lesbians” and I was starting to get interested in the topic until Dr. Drew spouts his theory: “ I believe it has to do with the onset of menopause. When women can no longer reproduce their bodies start start saying, Hey I don’t need men anymore so I can be attracted to women now” So not only do us menopausal women have to deal with so many other misconceptions now we have to add suddenly becoming lesbians to the list. Can you imagine going to your doctor when they are going over the side effects, well this may cause hot flashes, fatigue, dizziness oh and you might suddenly become a lesbian. Being someone who believes strongly that is not a choice & it’s something you are born with and probably women of a certain age just say screw society I don’t care what people think anymore I’m going to go be happy with who I want to be happy with, this whole thing offends me but the fact that he thinks menopause suddenly turns us into a whole new person is insulting. At this point I’m so angry I can’t turn the channel now if I wanted to because I can’t wait to see what he is going to say next. He starts interviewing a woman and she is talking about finding her true self later in life and how she was just coming to terms to her identity and this boob asks her “Are you sure it’s not just the hormone you are taking?” This man can not be a doctor.
But lets just say Dr. Drew is right and it is a choice that menopausal women make here is the real reason: women are sick of their husbands not understanding what they are going through and instead of dealing with them asking why the house is freezing and getting you a heating pad for your birthday, women say screw it and decide to live with someone who finally gets it.
January 24, 2011 § 2 Comments
The common misconception about a hot flash is that it’s juts a feeling of being warm or hot. But it’s not like a hot’s summer day where you jump into your air conditioned car and enjoy some lemonade and then you’re all better, but no, hot flashes are a special kind of heat (probably because their orgins are from hell) It feels like an instant fever that takes over your body and it actaully eminates from the inside out. Why do I bring this up? Because i am tired of people thinking that a cool wash cloth or turning down the heat will work, that would be like fighting a forest fire with a bottle of Aquafina. The other problem with hot flashes is there sneaky bastards they never are really brought on by anything and you can nevr really predict when they are coming. The one thing I do notice is if I walk into somewhere that is already hot my body tries to one up it and instant hot flash. So while everyone else gets to enjoy their winter wardrobe I look at my sweaters as possible hot flash greanaids just waiting to be detionated.
For my boyfriends family that reads this blog I’m so sorry for the mental image I’m about to give. I will not be hurt if you skip this I don’t want any awkward holidays. If you do proceed just remember you have been warned.
So whens the worst time to be hot and bothered, well when you are trying to get all hot & bothered. That’s right you heard me and I can’t be the only one who has had this problem. So you are feeling romantic and not like a bloated swamp monster (which believe me you want to take advantage of, it doesn’t happen very often ) but all of a sudden in the middle of getting hot, well you are getting hot. I mean really HOT (and not in the fun way) Well what the hell do you do it’s not like you can stop so you continue to ride the heat wave. The goal stops being getting to the Big O but a glass of H2O.
The worst part is when you are done and you are lying in bed barely able to breathe and fanning yourself with a pillow, your man will be looking at you smiling like an idiot thinking he just discovered the Holy Grail (probably will do that same thing for the rest of your lives) Eventually he will say “Hey are you alright” “I’m just still hot” and him being the dim bulb that he is he will say ” Me too, baby” and will feel very proud of himself for the rest of the night (who I am kidding the rest of the month)
So next time be prepared for being more bothered and hot than the other way around.