9 reasons I may be the stupidest person I know

January 6, 2013 § 1 Comment

ImageSo for the most part I consider myself intelligent. I read books without any pictures, I can carry on a conversation about current events, I can write coherent sentences & I even teach students,  so I know I don’t lack knowledge. All that beng said every once in a while I’m reminded of how utterly stupid I can be. Maybe stupidity isn’t the right word just totally unaware of the obvious (no I can’t sugar coat it it’s stupidity) Now since I consider you all friends I’m going to share 7 stories of utter stupidity with you so you can all feel better about yourselves & get a laugh at my expense. Ok here we go:

1) I just realized that if you put Kanga and Roo from Winnie the Pooh together it’s a Kangaroo (no seriously this blew my mind)

2) I thought the Hatfield’s & The McCoy’s was a mini-series on Enron & Bernie Madoff

3) In Cast Away with Tom Hanks I just thought Wilson was a clever name. Imagine my surprise when I was in WalMart & saw a whole bunch of volley ball’s with Wilson on them. You may think I put and two together but no I said “Oh they renamed them because of the film”

4) As me and Ben were taking a hike one day he asked me “Hey do you know what the Rock says?” to which I answered “Umm duh, “Can you smell what the Rock is cooking” I didn’t see why suddenly he was crying in laughter. Between him gasping for breathe he pointed to a historical monument in the shape of a rock with writing on it. Apparently he had meant the actual Rock and not my favorite wrestler turned actor The Rock.

5) Another Tom Hanks shocker in the movie Forrest Gump I was always baffled by why they showed Forrest with John Lennon. When we were watching that particular part I voiced my confusion for this “This part of the film doesn’t make any sense. Every other part has a point why is he having a conversation with John Lennon that leads nowhere” Ben just put on the song “Imagine” & walked out of the room with his head down. 

6) Ben was watching the movie Amadeus and I asked what it was about. He gave me a blank stare and said “Umm Mozart” to which I said “What does Amadeus have to do with Mozart?” Apparently Mozart had a first name-who knew?

7) I thought Napoleon crossed the Delaware not George Washington (they both had blue jackets with buttons it’s confusing)

8) Jersey Boys turns out is not a musical adaption of “The Jersey Shore”(although I still say it would sell like crazy)

and finally

9) All these years I have been mishearing the song lyrics to a Prince song. I was singing in the car and Ben gave me one of his looks “What are you singing?” “this song” I replied “It’s Raspberry Beret not Raspberry Chevrolet. Why would you think it said Chevrolet?” “I thought it was the sequel to “Little Red Corvette”” It was not.

Hopefully after reading these if you are ever feeling down you can say “well at least I’m not as dumb as that woman” YOUR WELCOME.

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{ starting off on the wrong foot }

February 14, 2012 § Leave a comment

There is nothing quite like starting off your week with having to schedule 4 different appointments at 4 different locations, which means talking to 4 different offices. I always try and give the people that answer the phones at these places the benefit of the doubt because god only knows what they have to encounter in a day but when they say the following it makes it really hard:

I would like to schedule a sonogram. “For what?” My thyroid (more posts on this later.) A Big Huff. “Well did a doctor order this or do just want to come in?” (Yes you heard that right do I just want to come in?) “Because you have to have a doctor order the test and I don’t have any papers in front of me.” Ok. But I have slip saying I need to make an appointment with you for this test by my doctor. “Well how do I know you aren’t just saying that?” (Let’s take a minute and ponder this. Who in there right mind would make up a test just so they can go and have an uncomfortable procedure on their neck. Did I miss something, are there actually groups of people that hard up on ideas of what to do on a Friday night? Geee “Hello Imaging Center.” Yes instead of dinner let’s sneak into an Imaging Center get unneeded tests & instead of tipping a waiter pay a huge ass deductible, Yes a perfect date night.)

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